We think the name “It Takes Two To Travel” says it all. Just like “it takes two to tango”, travel is very often an energetic tussle between competing interests. It can be exhilarating and exciting when done right. Or exhausting when you step on each others’ toes.
Naturally, many folks like to travel alone. But most of us, especially Boomers and Seniors, travel as couples, either by ourselves or as part of a larger group. So it’s important to think about what you each like to do.
Harmony begins at the planning stage. We Boomers and Seniors can be pretty set in our ways. Typically, it’s the ladies who do the planning, and the guys just tag along. Right? (This isn’t just a stereotype: the statistics confirm that women make most of the leisure travel buying decisions.)
But if you disagree at the start about where you should go and what you should do, then one of you will be grumpy on the road. And that’s no way to set off. So here are our tips on how to arrive at happy compromise as the battle of the sexes (or the partners if you’re same sex) goes on the road.
- Make time to plan together. For heaven’s sake, take our Bucket List Builder test (which you can get by signing up for our newsletter). It’ll help each of you gather an impartial view of what you want to do, then reconcile your choices so you arrive at a harmonious decision.
- Set a budget you’re both comfortable with. There can be wild disparities between what people want to spend. By the way, do you watch “House Hunters International? We do. You’ll notice how there’s usually one person in the couple driven by dreams – and the other by budget. By meeting each other half way, happiness is achieved. But you need to set expectations up front.
- Create time for each other’s interests. Recently, I really had to drag Elaine under huge protest to the fish market in Tokyo because I was tired of visiting temples all day. It turned out she loved it best of all the things we did in Japan. So be open to your partner’s desires. Equally, I have gotten a big kick out of some of the art exhibitions Elaine has compelled me to visit (not that I don’t love art, but you know what I mean.)
- Look for joint fun. You clearly have some common interests. Look for where your lists coincide to go find the things that you will revel in.
- Learn new stuff together. That may mean going to language classes, or cooking school, or wine tasting or whatever. But the common act of learning puts you on the same team, creates lots of laughs, and hopefully shared skills you can take home.
- Be flexible about the food. You love Indian food. He doesn’t. But you’re in India! Be sure to take stuff along that gets you through your food crises. Full disclosure: Elaine hates Japanese food but she just made it through Japan with the help of strategically acquired peanut butter and sympathy.
- Have each other’s back. One of you will have jet lag. The other (I’m looking at you, Elaine) will drive you nuts by sleeping soundly on the plane and then sleeping through the night, arising bright eyed and ready to go. Meanwhile the other (in this case, me) is a zombie for the first couple of days. If take headlamps so the awake one can read without waking the other and do various other little considerate things of the others’ foibles on the road, it can add a lot of fun. Don’t criticize them for their aversion to foreign things. Don’t forget you’re on the same team, and it’s you guys versus the world!
- Don’t be afraid to do things apart. If your cell phone are organized, then you can be in touch while each does their own thing. Text is a great, cheap way to stay in touch even if one of you is carrying a US cell phone. (See our cell phone tips page for details on this).
- Make Magic Moments together. So you didn’t really want to come to Myanmar, you hate the food, and think all the temples are boring. There’s always something fun to do, like driving a bullock through a rice paddy. Record the moments, put them up on Facebook, treasure them. Even though you’re miserable at the moment, remember there are a hundred family and friends who are watching with envy because you’re away somewhere cool! Don’t wait until you get back to begin appreciating the trip. It’s all about the moments.
- Laugh. Use the differences of the place you’re in to observe how you live day to day. You may find that you like the way they, say, make coffee, better than we do at home. Okay, so take something back that you can both share as a new experience back home. Or, you hate the way they make coffee (Not that I have much else against Australia). So use that experience to appreciate what you have back home. If you’re rushing to kiss the soil when you get home, then the trip still served a purpose to make you appreciate your existing life better.
